


I'd rather have you, cursed or not

by OniX



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, also sam, but like just a mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:35:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1668251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OniX/pseuds/OniX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leader of Heaven and King of Hell. But they will always choose each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd rather have you, cursed or not

It was truly extraordinary. It was the most bizarre thing you could imagine. Castiel, now the leader of Heaven and whoever angels there were, in love with the new king of Hell. Cas had tried to look for Dean in Heaven but it was clear pretty soon that he wasn’t there. He left Heaven with hope in his heart to tell Sam the news only to find Sam sitting by the table with Dean. 

Oh, Dean. Dean, who Cas pulled out of Hell. Dean, who Cas fell in love with. Dean, who taught Cas how to feel and how to love. Dean, whom Cas loved more than anything in this whole wide world, was sitting by the table, but where his beautiful, broken soul should be… There wasn’t nothing, but rather an abyss. Darkness. Swirling smoke banging against the edges of his mind and body, flying from side to side, a hurricane inside of him. Not the same kind Cas had in him, not a light giving him his powers, but a void. A raging void sucking out what made Dean Dean, bit by bit. That was what Cas saw when he flew down from Heaven with a sliver of hope in his heart, hope to see the man he loved. 

Dean didn’t say anything. He just looked at Cas and even though his eyes weren’t black, Cas could see through the green and right into the abyss in him. It hadn’t been even a week and Crowley was already out of the game, Dean being the new king. The man who would be king, Cas thought somewhere at the back of his mind, but you weren’t supposed to be a king like this, you were the righteous man. Sam didn’t say anything either. He looked simply tired, too tired to fight for his brother, too tired to do anything but look at Cas numbly. 

“Hello, Cas”, Dean said and the storm inside blew up. His expression didn’t change, nothing in him showed it, but Cas saw. He saw Dean shouting, raging, banging up against the walls that had been created. But how could you tear down something that was you? 

“Dean”, Cas said. “I looked for you.” 

“I know. Sorry about that, dorky guy. I see your wings are doing better”, Dean said. Sam got up and wandered out of the door. Somewhere, Cas could hear a door close and for a moment he just wanted to go after Sam and tell him he would fix this. Cas didn’t know how, but he would fix this. But he couldn’t leave Dean, not now, not after everything, even if the damaged soul had been twisted into something dark. 

“Yes. We’re gaining our powers again”, Cas said. He couldn’t tear his eyes from Dean. 

“I am too. Tried to call ya, but Heaven put me on hold”, Dean said and a smirk played on his lips. The storm stopped for a split second and it almost looked like the smoke thinned out during that short moment. Cas looked down, but he couldn’t stop a smile. And when he looked up, the smoke was definitely thinner and Cas could almost see the green in his eyes again. 

“Surely Heaven waits for you”, Cas said quietly. “You know that I will.” 

Dean got up. Cas ignored the very big possibility that Dean would pull out the blade and stab him to death and stayed where he was. Dean stopped right in front of him, but didn’t touch. Cas’ heart wrenched because they were so close to each other. 

“I have things to sort out. But you know, back in the day when I told you I needed you… that hasn’t changed. I can’t stop what’s going on and there’s nothing to do about it, it’s useless to fight it, but we’re still family. I still need you. Have always needed”, Dean said. 

“I need you too, Dean. But we can’t be like this”, Cas said. It felt like his heart was twisting more than Dean’s soul, to say things like that, but it had to be done. He couldn’t be with a demon, not with all the angels watching his back and following him, even if he led them involuntarily. He couldn’t do it. 

“I know. That’s why you gotta wait, Cas, wait until we can. As humans we didn’t have that much time, but now – now we can wait for all eternity. Until something turns out that will let us be”, Dean said and raised his hand. He almost placed it on Cas’ chest, but changed the direction and ended up gripping Cas’ shoulder, then neck. 

“I’m supposed to stop you. End this all”, Cas whispered. Dean let out a pained laugh. 

“Me too. Let’s make a deal even though you don’t have a soul, huh? We won’t. We won’t end anything”, he crooked out. 

“Okay, Dean.” 

“You gotta go. They’re looking for you”, Dean said, but didn’t let go of Cas. Cas raised his own hand and wrapped it around Dean’s. 

“We can’t see. Or we’ll have to fight”, he said. 

“You still hear my prayers, right?” 

Cas couldn’t help but laugh. “A praying demon?” 

“Love does things to us.” 

It was the first and only time Cas heard Dean say he loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> I cry and my tears are s9 finale


End file.
